Hazardous

For those of you that don't know, my mom works in the health care industry. As such, she has access to things that us normal folk wouldn't have access to. She came home from work this evening with a couple of packages in her hands.

"I brought mushrooms! I'll incorporate them into dinner tomorrow."

"I love mushrooms!" I looked at the packages in her hands and here is what I saw:

(FYI, these are Biohazard Specimen Transport Bags)

"Uhhh. Mom, the mushrooms are in biohazard bags!"

"Yes! These are the most sterile bags you will ever find!"

"I don't care! It's a biohazard bag!!"

"One of the guys at work brought a box of mushrooms and we all grabbed these bags and helped ourselves."

"You mean everyone took home mushrooms in biohazard bags?"

"Of course. They're the most sterile bags you'll ever find."

At this point my brother walks into the kitchen. I grab a bag.

"Look what mom brought for us to eat!"

My brother took a look at the mushrooms in the bag.

"Oh dear God, she wants us dead."

"Oh for heaven's sake! I don't want you dead. These are the most sterile bags you'll ever find!"

My brother looked at me. I looked at my brother.

"It was nice knowing you, Andy."

He nodded his head and gave me a hug.